In one sense a lot of stuff has happened recently. In another sense, not so much has happened. I'm going to try to just update everyone with whatever I can think of.

First, I am going to touch base about the deal with Brian. I don't know what everyone knows. But things got a bit out of hand. Tentatively, I had agreed that he could come see me over the summer, back before the school year ended. Since then I've thought more about it. I've realized that I am not ready for any type of a relationship with a guy (especially any real bf/gf type of relationship - which is what he wants). I tried to tell him nicely that I didn't want him to see me, but he didn't take the hint. Long story short, we got into a bunch of arguments the one night, and I had to tell him numerous times that I wasn't ready for a relationship, that I didn't want him to come see me, that I didn't want him to stay with me, and that I wasn't ready to tell him about all my problems that made me unwilling and not ready to have a relationship. I felt like absolute crap for a few days after that. Recently, it's become apparent to me that he is still coming to Findlay this coming weekend, and I really hope he doesn't end up coming and trying to see or talk to me. If you don't know me by now, just know this. I was able to stand my ground when we fought (it was over AIM I am sorry to admit), but face-to-face I would/will crumble. Hopefully I am worrying over nothing. We will see.

Moving on, I still haven't found a job per say. I do stalls at the barn where Maggie and Shreya are, but I only get a dollar per stall. So it doesn't add up to much. I figure it will at least help cover gas, but probably not much more. At least, I did get the shadowing thing figured out. I get to shadow at a small animal clinic for 3 hrs on Wednesdays. No, that's not much. But it's something. Besides, I really need/want to get that large animal vet experience... and that's really hard to get.

The horses, despite their attempts to kill me, are doing fine. Maggie has been taken off her temporary retirement from riding, at least for today. I've devised a system that might just work to help her burn off that excess stupid energy. Shreya was actually the problem child today. She tried to buck me off after refusing to turn to the right. I ended up doing an emergency dismount so I wasn't thrown off, and then proceeded to beat her sorry butt. She was an angel after that. So yeah... the horses are still only horses.

(man a wave of tired just washed over me)

Another something for those of you who don't know. My mom is going to be having surgery done on her legs within the next month. We don't know the date yet, but it has to be done soon. It's a new, experimental procedure so hopefully it works and everything goes well. (at least it has to be better than "vein stripping" that just doesn't sound good at all). The veins in her legs are about 4 times larger than they should be, and the valves that help get the blood up out of her legs are damaged. So the blood has basically been "pooling" in her legs, making them really sore.

Other than that. my sister is leaving for Nigeria for six weeks, in a few days. Hopefully everything goes fine for her. Dad's been really stressed, but I can't do much from here. Poor Jip is physically deteriorating. We are sure he won't be around next year. Chris is on tour with Jeremy Camp, as the lighting producer and he seems to really be enjoying that.

My roommate here at Findlay doesn't seem bad at all. She is really laid back. She does have a boyfriend, but he's pretty cool too. I live in the cottages now, and they aren't too bad. Oh! those stupid alarm things they installed? Well yesterday the one in here went off at 10am. It started playing a local radio station, and displayed the weather forecast for the day. It was really weird.

Class is fine. My geography class ends this week. Our final is next week, and then I start my global perspective on gender class. So... yeah. That's life. I hope everyone else is doing alright. I'll talk to you all later.